


Freaky Friday in the Pegasus Galaxy

by scarletmanuka



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Anaphylaxis, Body Swap, Dubious consent - masturbation during body swap, First Time, Getting Together, Hypoglycemia, M/M, Those crazy Ancients, citrus allergy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: John and Rodney touch an Ancient device on a mission and end up switching bodies. John takes advantage of the situation to get intimately familiar with Rodney's body.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 107





	Freaky Friday in the Pegasus Galaxy

“Receiving Doctor McKay’s IDC,” Chuck said.

“Lower the shield,” Elizabeth instructed, biting the inside of her cheek as she watched the event horizon anxiously. AR1 were returning three hours  _ before _ scheduled which meant things had gone just as wrong as if they’d returned late. They’d not radioed to say that they were coming in hot or that they needed a medical team to the Gateroom so she tried to assure herself that they were fine, but still, something had her on edge. 

The event horizon flickered and Teyla appeared, then Ronon, Sheppard, and last of all, oddly enough, was Rodney. Normally Sheppard was the last through the Gate if everything was well and he wasn’t injured. Immediately she heard Sheppard and Rodney begin to bicker and she couldn’t help but smile a little. Things couldn’t be  _ too _ bad then. She headed down the stairs to greet them. 

“Elizabeth,” Teyla said, inclining her head slightly. 

“Teyla. Any particular reason for the early return?” she asked.

“There was a...complication,” Teyla told her.

“I see.” Elizabeth turned to Sheppard and asked, “Colonel, what happened?”

“It was all going to plan,” Rodney said. “We located the ruins where the energy signature was coming from, and we headed in to investigate -”

Elizabeth held up her hand to stall him. “That’s all very well and good, Rodney, but I believe I asked  _ John  _ to report.”

Sheppard rolled his eyes and jabbed a thumb in Rodney’s direction. “He  _ is _ the Colonel, Elizabeth,” he said in a snappy tone that she’d never heard John use with her before.

Elizabeth frowned. “I don’t understand.”

Rodney looked bashful - again, something she hadn't seen before - and reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Well, you see, there was this Ancient device…”

She sighed. “There always is.”

“And Rodney and I might have touched it,” he finished.

“Of course you did.” She pointed to the corridor. “Infirmary, now. We’ll debrief there once Beckett has examined you.” 

She watched as AR1 filed from the room, Sheppard and Rodney still bickering and she wondered when she was going to get used to the crazy things that Pegasus threw at them. Unfortunately, she didn't think that it would be anytime soon.

oOoOo

John sat on the side of the bed, his legs swinging as he watched Beckett examine, well, himself. It was disconcerting to say the least. He’d seen enough footage of himself over the years to be familiar with how he moved and Rodney wore John’s body completely differently to the way he himself did. There was no casual slouch, no hint of the forced relaxed state that John tried to show at all times. In fact, it was like watching someone in an Edgar suit. Immediately he pictured Rodney as some huge cockroach type alien and he couldn't help but snicker. Rodney turned sharply to him, John’s body stiff and tense in ways that he knew would  _ hurt _ when he got his body back and he wanted to tell him to relax. Unfortunately, telling Rodney to relax generally had the opposite effect.

“Something funny, Colonel?” Rodney snapped.

He shook his head, surprised at how much heavier than his own it felt. He couldn't decide if that was because his own neck muscles were stronger from years of flying and training to withstand G forces or if Rodney’s brain really was just that much bigger than everyone else’s. “Nope,” he said, popping the p and adding a smirk for good measure because he knew that that would annoy Rodney even more.

He didn't expect Rodney to almost shudder and look away.

“What is it?” he asked, and it sounded gentler than he’d intended.

Rodney shook his head, and John saw why Rodney was always giving him shit about his hair. It really did flop everywhere. 

“Come on, McKay. Now’s not really the time to be keeping secrets from one another.”

He huffed and shot John a derisive look. “I wouldn’t call it a secret, Colonel,” he said stiffly.

“Then what is it?”

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and looked away but finally admitted, “You remind me of Rod.”

That wasn’t what John had expected. “Oh,” was his articulate response.

Rodney uncrossed his arms so he could wave one of his hands around dismissively. “It really shouldn’t come as a surprise. You know, he was cool, and you’re cool, and I’m  _ not,  _ so seeing someone be all cool in my body, well, the comparisons should be expected.”

John wanted to say to Rodney,  _ “Hey, if I’m cool that makes you  _ **_fine_ ** _.”  _ but knew that he couldn't because the chances were, he’d put  _ way _ too much emphasis on  _ fine _ and everyone, Rodney included, would be clued into the monumental crush that John had on their Chief Science Officer. Since that wasn’t exactly something he wanted to become general knowledge, he remained silent instead.

Beckett finished his bustling around and said, “Well it looks like you’re both perfectly healthy. Except for the switched consciousnesses, everything appears to be absolutely normal.”

“That’s wonderful,” Rodney snapped. “I’m glad your voodoo degree is coming in so handy here.”

Beckett didn’t take Rodney’s tone to heart. “Aye, well, I believe your degrees will be what’s needed to get this one sorted, Rodney.” He looked at them both and then flapped his hands at them. “Well chop, chop then. Off you go. There’s no need to stay here any longer.”

Rodney snorted and then slid off the bed and stomped from the infirmary, only tripping over the unfamiliar feet once. John got up and nodded to Beckett and said, “Thanks, doc,” before following along behind him.

Elizabeth and Zelenka were waiting outside with Teyla and Ronon, and Rodney wasted no time in filling them in on the situation. “I couldn’t get the device initialised,” he explained when Elizabeth asked how it had all happened. “I thought it might only roll over and beg for Colonel Super Gene there, but it didn’t work for him either.”

“That’s when I noticed that there was a handle thing on each end,” John added.

“Yes, I was  _ getting _ to that,” Rodney said. “So we both took hold and before either of us couldn’t even think  _ On _ , there was a flash of light and we were suddenly standing at the opposite ends of the device that we started at.”

“Wearing Edgar suits,” John said just to watch Rodney roll his eyes.

Elizabeth frowned, not getting the reference but shook it off. “So how do we reverse the effects? Is it as simple as you both touching the device again?”

“If only,” John muttered.

Rodney snorted. “This is Pegasus, Elizabeth - when is anything so easy?”

“We already tried that,” John told her.

“And it did nothing.” Rodney sounded personally offended. “I downloaded as much data as I could get so we can start investigating from here.”

“Excellent,” Elizabeth said. “You can hand the data over to Doctor Zelenka.”

“Wait, you're  _ benching me?”  _ Rodney squawked.

“Rodney, you’ve been affected by an Ancient device, of which we don’t understand the purpose. Until we can be certain that there are no unforeseen consequences, both you and Colonel Sheppard are on stand down.”

“But, but Carson gave us a full bill of health!”

She stood resolute. “Yes, he did, but who knows if that will change? I’ll reevaluate the situation if neither of you have shown any adverse effects after three days.”

_ “Three days?”  _ Rodney shouted. “If Zelenka can’t figure this out in three days then he may as well go back to Earth and teach at a community college for all the good he is to me!”

“McKay,” John said in a low voice.

Rodney wheeled on him and it was odd to see his own angry expression being directed at himself. “Surely you can’t be happy about this either!”

“Of course I don’t like being grounded, McKay but Elizabeth is doing what she thinks is best. Let’s just let Zelenka and his team do their jobs.”

Rodney huffed again, crossing his arms over his chest but he gave a terse nod. Zelenka didn't wait around, just hurried off to the lab and Elizabeth gave them both a smile. “Thank you. Rodney, after you’ve transferred the data I’ll be cutting your access to the system. I don’t want you working on  _ anything,  _ even if it’s unrelated to this situation.” She raised a brow as he began to protest and he quickly shut up. “It’s not often we get a few days of down time. I suggest that you both make the most of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She nodded and then left, leaving the team alone. 

“This sucks,” Rodney muttered.

“It’s freaky,” Ronon grunted.

“I must confess to finding the situation a little odd,” Teyla added.

John sighed. “Yes, yes, it’s weird and confusing and I’m sure that we’ll have many  _ hilarious  _ mishaps before it’s all over and done with.” He looked to Teyla and Ronon. “Since we’re on standby for at least the next three days, feel free to take your own downtime.”

Teyla smiled broadly. “Excellent. I shall arrange to spend some time on the mainland.”

John had expected that she would. “I think that Markham is doing a supply run out there this afternoon if you wanted to catch a lift.”

She inclined her head. “I shall. Ronon, would you like to accompany me? I believe Lilah most enjoyed your company the last time you visited.”

Ronon actually blushed, reminding John sharply just how young he actually was. His tone was as gruff as usual when he said, “Yeah, sure,” but his cheeks stayed pink. 

“Wonderful, at least there’ll be two less people to freak out over this whole situation,” Rodney groused. 

“We are not ‘freaking out’, Rodney,” Teyla said patiently, “it is simply a little jarring to see both of your physical bodies acting so out of character.” She smiled. “I’d best go and pack a bag. Please keep us advised if the situation changes so we can return if necessary.”

“Of course,” John assured her. “Have fun, kids.”

“Right, well, I have data to transfer,” Rodney said after they’d left, looking awkward.

“Sure. I might head back to my quarters, maybe get a little more  _ War and Peace _ read,” John said.

“Of course, well, in that case.” Rodney went to leave and then turned back abruptly. “Colonel, just, I mean, please…” He trailed off.

“Spit it out, McKay.”

“Look, my body is at your mercy and I know what an adrenaline junkie you are,” he said, all in a hurry. “Please don’t do irrevocable damage to it!”

John laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry, Rodney, I’ll take good care of it for you.”

“Right, well just don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.” Still looking torn he finally left.

Fifteen minutes later, John was in his quarters, naked, with Rodney’s hot, heavy cock in his hand. He spared a brief moment to wonder if this was something that Rodney wouldn’t do but then he was crying out and coming and it was too late to change anything.

oOoOo

John didn't sleep well that night. Guilt ate away at him and he tossed and turned, wondering how Rodney would react if he ever found out that John had taken such liberties with his body. He’d honestly not planned to take it so far but a quick look, just to familiarise himself with the body he was stuck in until Zelenka figured out a way to reverse the effects had kind of escalated. The problem was, Rodney’s body was so  _ responsive!  _ John had stripped off his shirt and had run a hand lightly over the broad chest and suddenly his nipples were zinging and his cock had gotten hard and really, once that had happened it felt like a wasted opportunity not to take a peek in Rodney’s pants. He doubted that anyone could resist their curiosity. 

John’s own cock was long and slender, much like himself, but Rodney’s was so different. He was only average in length but he was thick and uncut and even as John eyed the unfamiliar length, beads of pre-come had started to glisten at the tip. He hadn’t been able to help himself, had reached down and wrapped his hand around the length and before he knew it, he was coming, gasping Rodney’s name.

They’d not discussed it but he was sure that they’d both realised that some lines would be crossed whilst they inhabited one another’s bodies. Penises would have to be touched in order to go to the bathroom and wash and dry off, it was a given. John had taken it that one step further though and he doubted that Rodney would appreciate it. As much as John wished otherwise, Rodney had never shown any interest in men and all of his conquests and attempted conquests had had lady parts. He was probably going out of his way to avoid touching John’s cock as much as humanly possible, and jerking off would be the last thing he’d do. The more that John thought about it, the more his guilt grew and sleep evaded him.

Eventually, just as dawn was breaking, he got up and got dressed, eventually finding some clothes that fit well enough for a run. He’d gone to bed contemplating a sleep in since Ronon wasn’t there to run with but he needed to clear his mind and he’d always found running the next best alternative to flying to do so. He grabbed his water bottle, stretched to get a feel for how Rodney’s body moved and its limitations and then he took off at a slow jog. 

After half a mile he started to push harder, discovering that Rodney was fitter than he’d expected. Two years of being on John’s team and training with them all had done wonders and soon he settled into his normal rhythm. He wasn’t quite as fast as he usually was but without Ronon to push him, he could take his time. He reached the West Pier and decided to keep going, figuring that he may as well return Rodney’s body to him in better shape than he’d gotten it. It was the least he could do since he’d not treated it very respectfully the evening prior.

He circled back to the central spire and then made his way to the South Pier, but by then Rodney’s body was definitely at its limit. He came to a stop, sweaty and breathless and he gulped down the last of his water, wishing he’d bought more with him. A nasty stitch had appeared in his side but he knew that he had to push on, otherwise he’d lock up and cause more damage. He set off at a slow jog to warm down and by the time he was back at the Central Spire, he started coming across more and more people. Most threw him odd looks, not having heard yet about the incident and showing surprise at seeing McKay out for a run. Several looked to be half a moment away from radioing in a medical emergency but he shot them a glare and it seemed to do the trick and they scuttled away. It was the easiest he'd ever had it when trying to make people disappear and he could understand why Rodney had gotten his glare down to an art form. It was very effective.

As he was passing the mess he decided to stop for some water and maybe some coffee since he really didn’t want to experience the caffeine withdrawal headache that he was sure would come sooner rather than later. He nodded at the few early risers that were already getting breakfast but didn't stop to have a conversation. The last thing he needed was to have to explain the situation over and over again. Luckily no one seemed determined to chat with him and he poured a large glass of water from a pitcher at the beverage table and gulped it down, the cold water soothing his dry throat. He then fetched a mug and filled it with coffee and figured that he’d go and grab a shower before returning for food. 

He turned and took three steps, then the mug fell from his grasp and shattered on the ground. His hands clutched at his throat as he tried desperately to draw in a breath, but his throat seemed to be blocked. His eyes fell on the pitcher of water and too late he realised that he’d used the one that had lemon slices floating in it. His hand reached for a pocket in his tac vest for the epi pen that he normally carried but of course, he wasn’t wearing it. As he fell to his knees, his mouth opening and closing like a dying fish, he realised that Rodney wouldn't have a chance to kill him for jerking off in this body since John had killed him already.

oOoOo

Waking up from being unconscious was never a great experience but waking up to hear your own voice bitching at you was even weirder. It took John a few moments to recognise the cadance and to remember that he and Rodney had switched bodies and by then he started picking up actual phrases. 

“Absolute imbecile! You’ve got a brain but you don’t even think to use it. In fact, you’ve got  _ my _ brain at the moment so it should be even easier for you to make smart decisions but  _ no,  _ you have the same non-existent sense of self preservation that you’ve always had, but this time it’ll be  _ me _ that you kill, not just you! Honestly, you scared the crap out of me but it’s not like you care about that or anything since it’s never stopped you from making suicide runs or throwing yourself into the firing line before. I can’t believe -”

“Rodney,” John croaked, cutting him off, “enough!”

Rodney fell silent and John cracked open an eye to peer up at him. He looked like he’d not slept and there were dark bags under his eyes and his hair (John’s hair) was even more of a mess than usual. Even as he watched, Rodney ran a hand through it and he looked to be mere moments away from ripping it out by the roots. The BDUs he wore were loose and hung off his frame, clearly Rodney’s own. John found that he rather liked seeing himself in Rodney’s clothes but now really wasn’t the time. “You’re awake,” Rodney finally said.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” John struggled to sit up and Rodney grabbed the remote to tilt the bed upright. “So,” he said and grimaced, “the next time I hear  _ anyone _ accusing you of exaggerating about your citrus allergy, I’m gonna punch them.”

A flash of hurt passed over Rodney’s face. “You never believed me?”

“Of course I did.”

“Then why would you have not stuck up for me in the past?”

John frowned at him. “I did, I  _ have,”  _ he told him. “I’ve reamed out anyone who I’ve heard bitching about it, which,” he hastily assured Rodney, “isn’t as many people as you might think. I just couldn’t  _ punch _ them before since I’m the Military Head of Atlantis and all.”

Rodney was looking at him curiously. “But now?”

“Now I’ve experienced it for myself.” John swallowed hard and winced at how sore his throat was - probably from being intubated. “Jesus, Rodney - that was way scarier than flying a nuke into a hive ship. How have you  _ lived _ with that fear for so long?”

Rodney picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “It’s not like I had much choice,” he said. “I try to be as careful as I can, and I haven’t had an anaphylactic reaction in over ten years. I know people call me difficult when I refuse to eat food where there’s even a remote possibility that there’s been a cross contamination, and I know I used to embarrass people back on Earth when we ate out and I’d grill the kitchen staff before I ate anything, but…” He shrugged. “Well, you know now why I’m like that.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” John sighed. “So what happened? Things are a little fuzzy.”

“Sergeant Collis who works in the kitchen said he saw me - well, you but you know what I mean, drink the water with lemon slices. You collapsed and he used the epi pen they keep in the kitchens until Carson arrived.”

“They keep an epi pen in the kitchens?”

Rodney nodded. “It took a bit but I insisted on it when we first arrived in Pegasus. Collis apologised to me - when he found out that you’re me anyway - and said that he was sorry if he ever upset me by complaining about having to be so careful with the food.” A flicker of vindication crossed Rodney’s face. “I don’t think you’re the only one who was scared shitless by it. Collis has never been so nice to me before.”

“Good, I’m glad,” John said. “People need to take it more seriously.”

“Does that include you?” Rodney asked.

He frowned. “Rodney, I  _ told _ you, I’ve never doubted your allergy before. hell, I make  _ everyone _ on the team carry an epi pen when we’re off world.”

Rodney flapped a hand, dismissing John’s statement. “No, no, not that. I mean, you’re in  _ my body _ and you just guzzled lemon infested water like it was coffee! What did you  _ think _ was going to happen?”

John squirmed a little. “I guess that’s the thing - I  _ wasn’t _ thinking.”

“Yes, well that much was obvious,” Rodney snarked, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I really am,” John said and his voice was almost a croak by now. Rodney bustled around, pouring him a glass of water and offered it up. “Thanks,” John said, taking a sip. “Man, I’m exhausted,” he murmured.

“Yes, well almost dying does tend to take it out of you.” His eyes softened and John wondered how many times he’d directed that look at Rodney in the past and if Rodney had picked up on the meaning behind it. “Go back to sleep, you need the rest,” Rodney told him.

“Has Zelenka had any luck?” John asked, his eyes growing heavy.

“Not yet. Once you’re asleep again I’ll go and put the fear of God into him, that should hurry him along.”

John couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged on his lips. “You mean the fear of  _ you?” _

Rodney snorted. “Me, God, same same really.”

John chuckled, letting his eyes close and just before sleep took him he was almost sure that he felt the feather light touch of Rodney’s hand on his cheek.

oOoOo

Beckett kept John in the infirmary for close to two days and he was going stir crazy by the time he was finally released. He spent the rest of the day of his release cooped up in his office with Lorne going over a few minor incidents that had occurred and then after a hasty dinner he caught up with Elizabeth to go over the security for several missions that would be venturing close to Genii territory in the upcoming days. It was late by the time John fell into bed and he slept through until just before dawn.

Eager to go for a run as he’d been confined to a bed for two days too long - in his opinion anyway - John grabbed two bottles of water and headed out. His chest was still feeling a little tight so he set an easy pace, taking longer than usual to complete his circuit but feeling refreshed and pleasantly sore afterwards. The memory of gasping for breath, unable to draw in oxygen and desperate for air made him wary of the mess so he skipped it and took a page out of Rodney’s book and had a power bar for breakfast. He had a quick shower (and if his hands wandered a little more than required over Rodney’s body, well, no one had to know) and then made his way to the Senior Staff meeting.

Towards the end, as Beckett was finishing his report on medical supplies they needed to requisition on the next Daedalus run, everyone’s radios went off, Chuck alerting them to an incident in one of the far reaches of the city. The botanists had been checking out suitable areas to set up greenhouses and had entered into an area that had sustained quite a bit of damage during the siege by the Wraith. A wall had collapsed and several of the scientists were trapped and their marine escort injured. Everyone hurried from the room, with John and Rodney barking orders over their headsets, organising engineers, medics, and others to help with the rescue mission. They may have technically have been stood down by Elizabeth but those orders went out the window when there was an emergency in the city.

It took all day and John didn’t stop to rest until each and every one of his people were recovered from the debris and sent to the infirmary. After the first several hours, the team had it well under control, but he simply couldn’t leave. He felt a responsibility to every single person serving on Atlantis and he had to see through the rescue operation from start to finish. He sagged against a wall as he watched Marie lead the last gurney away, and he reached up a shaky hand to wipe sweat from his face. Several marines were clearing away the last of the rubble under the supervision of the engineers, who were being overseen by Rodney. John watched him, able to ignore his own familiar body and appreciate all the little things that made Rodney who he was - the hand gestures, the insults to the IQs of everyone around, the incredibly sexy way that he took control of a room so very easily. John’s heart was pounding just from watching him and he wiped more sweat from his brow.

It slowly dawned on him that he’d not actually done much physically to help out with the rescue. They had established fairly early on that none of the trapped scientists were gravely injured, they were simply stuck under the rubble and so he hadn't spent most of the day worrying and anxious. So why the hell was he sweating so much? 

“Colonel? Sheppard, what the hell is wrong with you?”

He turned his head and it seemed incredibly difficult to do. He tried to speak but his lips were tingling and he reached up a shaky hand and touched them, marveling at the feel of Rodney’s lips beneath his fingers. 

“Sheppard, what the hell?” Rodney sounded genuinely worried now and John wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure him, but he couldn’t. It felt like he was swimming through treacle, everything was blurred and he didn't quite know where he was. He took a step forward and stumbled, falling against Rodney’s chest and he ran and hand down it, mumbling, “Warm, you’re s’warm, ev’n in m’body.”

“For crying out loud, when was the last time you ate?” Rodney asked, sounding quite exasperated.

“Ate?” John asked, not understanding. Then everything faded into darkness and he was floating.

oOoOo

It seemed to be easier the second time, rousing from unconsciousness, to the sound of Rodney ranting at him in his voice. John found it soothing to know that no matter which form he was in, Rodney would always be Rodney.

“ - you honestly thought this entire time that I was  _ making up _ my hypoglycemia? When I complain that I need to eat it’s not because I’m being a glutton! It’s because my blood sugar levels get so low that they completely mess with me and I end up utterly useless to you. I cannot believe that in the three and a half days that you’ve spent in my body, you’ve spent the majority of it in the infirmary! You’ve been unconscious  _ twice!  _ You literally have absolutely no regard whatsoever for the wellbeing of my body, do you? Honestly, to think that I  _ believed _ when you said that we were friends, but would a friend do this? Would they?”

John couldn’t take anymore. He was fairly certain that Rodney didn’t know that he was awake because talking about their friendship, about their  _ feelings  _ wasn’t something that they did and he knew that this wasn’t really something that he was supposed to hear.

“Rodney, is that you yammering at me?” he said, interrupting him.

“Sheppard? You’re awake?”

“I am,” he said, struggling to sit up. “Your dulcet tones roused me from my beauty sleep.”

Rodney snorted. “You’re in  _ my _ body, remember? Beauty sleep isn’t going to help much. Copious amounts of plastic surgery, yes, but beauty sleep? No.”

It physically pained John to hear Rodney being so down about himself. “I didn’t think you were the self conscious type, buddy,” he said, trying to keep it light.

Rodney snorted again, but it did seem to lack the usual oomph that it had when it came from his own mouth. “And normally I’m not,” he said, “but in this instance I’m actually comparing myself to you and well -” He waved up and down the body he wore and looked resigned. “It’s not exactly a competition.”

John wanted to tell him that if it  _ was _ a competition and he was judging, he’d pick Rodney any day of the week, but he didn’t, not wanting to go and complicate their friendship by adding feelings to the mix when they were already dealing with a body swap scenario. Instead he asked, “So what happened this time?”

“You had an hypoglycemic attack, you moron!”

“Oh.”

“Yes, _oh._ Honestly, are you trying to kill me? Because, in case you haven’t noticed - though given your propensity for suicidal decision making, I’m sure you have - you’d just end up killing _yourself._ And maybe me. We’re not sure about that yet.”  
  
John winced. “Rodney, you have to know - it’s not been deliberate.”

Rodney stopped pacing and fell into the hair beside the bed. “I know,” he admitted. 

“You sure about that?” John asked. “Because you do seem to be pretty upset about it.”

“I just it just hammers home how serious my health issues actually are,” Rodney said quietly. “Being distanced from it like this, seeing it in another light so to speak. Maybe…” He paused and took a deep breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t be on your team after all.”

“Excuse me?” John said, snapping a little from shock. “What the hell does that mean?”

Rodney waved one of his hands at the hospital bed where his actual body was resting. “I’m a liability. In less than a week, you’ve been incapacitated twice due to my issues. It’s been okay right now because a) we’re not currently under attack and b) it’s actually been  _ you _ who has been affected which isn’t as bad if it was me.”

John rolled his eyes but ignored the dig. He had come to the conclusion long ago that Rodney was more vital than he himself was to the success of their mission and the safety of the expedition. “I think you’re overlooking something quite important.”

“I doubt that,” Rodney said, his condescending tone not as cutting due to John’s natural drawl. 

“Yes, you are. You’re not taking into consideration the fact that  _ you _ are the one afflicted and  _ you _ have had a lifetime of experience with your body. You are more aware of the limitations and you work to prevent them, whereas I’m just taking your body for a test drive. I’m not as intimately familiar with your body as you are.”  _ Though I wish I was,  _ went unsaid. Though, given more time in Rodney’s body,  _ out _ of the infirmary, and John hoped to become so, guilt be damned.

“Oh, well, I suppose you may have a point,” Rodney conceded. “But -”

“But nothing, McKay. How many times have you had an anaphylactic reaction in the field? Exactly,  _ none.  _ How many times have you collapsed from your blood sugars getting too low? Once,  _ maybe  _ twice, but those were exceptional circumstances. You manage it really well, your fitness has improved a hundred fold from when you first joined the team, and your intelligence is our greatest asset and I refuse to lose you. Until something happens that poses a risk that can’t be mitigated, I won’t even consider accepting your resignation from the team. Is that understood?”

Rodney was gaping at him but eventually nodded. “As you wish, Colonel.”

“I do wish.”

Rodney continued to look at him but his expression had turned pensive. John might have gotten slightly too agitated but he hoped that he could pass that off as a side effect from his low blood sugar levels. “I’m glad we got that sorted,” he said, and very deliberately shut his eyes. “Now go away,” he added. “I’m resting.”

A moment later he heard Rodney leave.

oOoOo

“So you’re saying that it’s just temporary?” John clarified.

Zelenka nodded. “Yes, it was not meant to be permanent. So far as we can tell, the device was designed to help build empathy which led to enlightenment.”

“Which led to ascension,” Elizabeth concluded.

“Yes,” Zelenka said, nodding.

John rubbed at his eyes. He was still feeling tired but at least Carson had let him out of the infirmary last night so he could sleep in his own bed, though not without a stern lecture and a run down of all the medical issues he needed to be aware of whilst inhabiting Rodney’s body. He’d fallen asleep quickly but had woken early and had spent some time before the morning meeting jerking off, licking his hand clean after he’d finished. Aware that he had to eat more than just his own spunk to avoid another incident like yesterday’s, he’d rushed to the mess to grab a quick bite to eat beforehand but he’d forgotten the coffee. He felt a weird combination of sleepy, sated, and sluggish. “Do we know how long the effects will last?” he asked.

Zelenka shrugged. “We’re not entirely sure, however I would guess only a couple of more days, maybe less.”

John’s heart clenched unexpectedly in his chest. He’d not had enough time yet in this body, and the time that he  _ had _ spent had been wasted either in the infirmary or working. He knew it was wrong, knew that it was a violation of trust and friendship, but he wanted more time to explore Rodney’s body, to feel it under his fingers, discover all the sensitive areas, drink his fill before he had to give it back and lose the opportunity forever. He tried not to look outwardly disappointed by the news and pretended to listen as the meeting wrapped up. 

As everyone left the room, Rodney tried to grab his attention. “Colonel, do you have a moment?”

He paused and looked longingly at the hallway that led to the transporters. “Is it urgent?” he asked, guilt churning in his gut as he attempted to brush Rodney off, but not wanting to waste a second longer.

Rodney paused and then shook his head, looking disappointed. “Um, no, no I guess not.”

John hated being the one to put that expression on Rodney’s face so he said, “How bout I come find you as soon as I’m done? I won’t be long.”

“Oh, yes, alright.”

John gave him a small smile and turned, only to be stopped by Rodney calling, “What are you in such a hurry to do?”

John stopped and didn't look back at him. He wanted to finally admit his feelings, to say  _ ‘You, I’m going to do you,’  _ but of course he couldn’t. “Just finishing up looking into something for Lorne,” he lied.

“Right, well I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, see ya, Rodney.” He hurried off, feeling Rodney watching him as he went but not glancing back. 

He didn't stop or slow down until he was in his quarters and as soon as the door slid shut he was stipping off. As soon as he was naked he slowed down, wanting to savour the moment, needing to commit it all to memory. He slid his hands slowly down from his neck, tickling his collarbone, then moving to thumb at sensitive nipples. John gasped at the sensation, doing it again and again, pinching and rolling the small buds until he was hard and dripping, pleasure shooting straight from his nipples to his cock. His own nipples were nowhere near as sensitive, so much so that he didn’t even count them as an erogenous zone, hence why he was so fascinated with Rodney’s. He brought a finger up to his mouth and licked it then returned the wet digit to his nipple, reveling in the different sensation that the moisture bought. 

Keeping his left hand busy with his nipples, he dropped his right hand and scratched lightly across ribs and stomach, goosebumps chasing after his touch. He ignored his cock for now, reaching around to grasp a plump handful of ass, kneading it the way he’d always wanted to when Rodney would bend over in front of him. He groaned, wondering if Rodney had ever played with his own ass, or had anyone else do it for him. He seemed to be straight but maybe he’d had adventurous girlfriends in the past? If John fingered himself now and they changed back tomorrow, would Rodney be able to feel it? Would he know what John had done? 

Pushing that thought from his mind, John continued his exploration. He’d already discovered that Rodney had ticklish thighs from his time in the shower and he shivered as he trailed his nails over the powerful muscles. Then he reached up and cupped the heavy balls, rolling them in his hand, feeling their weight. His cock was leaking now, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. He was just moving his hand to the base of his shaft when his door slid open and Rodney walked in. 

“Actually, you know, this cannot wait. I need -” Rodney stopped mid-sentence and stared at John who stared back in horror. He wasn’t sure which one sent the mental command to the door to close but he was glad when it did.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” he blurted, knowing that it was the most inane thing he could say since it really couldn’t  _ be _ anything other than what it looked like.

Rodney’s expression changed but instead of anger or shock, he instead looked thoughtful. “I knew I was right,” he murmured, more to himself than to John.

“What?”

Rodney waved a hand around. “This morning when you arrived at the meeting, I knew you’d been jerking off.”

“You did?” John appeared to not be able to say anything other than stupid questions.

Rodney gave him one of his patented ‘are you really this stupid’ looks that translated easily onto John’s own face. “I know what I look like post-orgasm, thank you.”

“I’m sorry!” John said, holding up his hands to ward off the anger he knew had to be coming. “I know it was wrong, I’m so sorry.”

Rodney’s gaze dropped to John’s dick, which hadn’t softened in the slightest and smirked. “Are you really though?” He stepped closer, his eyes flicking up and resting on the swollen and red nipples. “You don’t look particularly sorry.”

John didn’t immediately contradict him since Rodney didn’t appear to be upset or angry. Instead he seemed smug and satisfied. He stayed quiet and decided to see where this was going.

“In fact,” Rodney continued, stepping well into John’s personal space now, “you look like you could use a hand. Who better to help than someone who knows that body better than anyone?”

John swallowed and it sounded loud in the quiet room. “I’m never one to turn down an offer to help,” he said.

Rodney snorted. “Bullshit, you do that all the time.” His eyes dropped once more to John’s erection. “Perhaps though these are special circumstances.” He reached up and slid his fingers around the back of John’s head and then dipped his face downwards until their lips met.

It was a little weird. John had pictured kissing Rodney numerous times over the years and it had always involved  _ him _ being the one to dip his head since he had the extra inch on Rodney, it was  _ he _ who tilted his head so he could align with the crooked mouth, and the fingers that danced in the short hairs at the nape of his neck were always broader, thicker, cleverer. He realised that of course this would be weird because he was essentially kissing himself but then Rodney pressed a leg in between his, and he moaned against John’s lips and he finally stopped thinking and just got with the program.

Rodney was wearing way too many clothes and John quickly began divesting him of them. Rodney was still wearing his own BDUs which were way too big for John’s slimmer frame and so it was easy enough to pop the button on the pants and then tug them down without even lowering the zipper. Rodney kicked the pants away after toeing off his shoes and helped to push down his boxers while John hurried to unbutton his shirt. Then there was skin, glorious skin, and although it was his  _ own _ chest that he was touching, John knew all the hot spots to make it as good as possible for Rodney.

Of course the same was true for him and Rodney wasted no time in getting his hands on John, skipping foreplay completely and instantly wrapping his large hand around John’s cock. 

“Oh, fuck,” he said with a gasp as Rodney took him right to the edge with the flick of his wrist. “Jesus Christ, Rodney, stop or this is gonna be over before it’s even begun.”

Rodney gave him a smug smile and then leaned in for a kiss, his hand still loosely wrapped around John’s cock but stilled for now. John pushed his tongue in between Rodney’s lips, keeping his eyes closed so he wouldn’t be up close and personal with his own face. He didn’t think it was a  _ bad _ face but he would really rather be looking at Rodney instead. 

Rodney pulled away and when John opened his eyes, he saw him grimacing. “This isn’t going to work,” Rodney said, and John’s heart plummeted. “Oh, don’t look at me like I’ve stolen your puppy,” he complained. “I didn’t mean  _ this  _ this, I mean  _ this.”  _ He waved in front of their faces and then turned and tugged on John’s hand, pulling him across the room. He stopped in front of the the mirror and stood with his chest to John’s back so they could both see one another. “This is better,” he murmured. 

John could only agree. Their eyes didn’t quite meet in the mirror - they were both looking at technically themselves but really at each other (and wasn’t  _ that _ just confusing as hell). John drank in all the details of Rodney’s body, watching as long slender fingers ran up and over his chest. “You’re so hot,” he whispered.

“Not as hot as you,” Rodney whispered against his ear and it was low and lust filled and didn't sound at all like John normally sounded.

John grunted, not wanting to get into a debate right now, instead he pushed his ass back and rubbed it against Rodney’s erection. 

“Have you got any lube?” Rodney asked.

John tilted his head towards his bedside table. “Top drawer.”

Rodney quickly fetched it and he took a moment to gaze over John’s ass. “Huh,” was all he said.

“What?”

He shook his head. “It’s weird. I’ve been told before what a great ass I have but I never really believed it until now. It’s really quite something, isn’t it?”

John grinned. “Yes it is.”

“So you’ve been looking?”

John reached backwards and while keeping eye contact in the mirror, he clasped Rodney’s hand. “I thought it would have been obvious, what with my obsession with your body but yes, Rodney, I've been looking.”

“Obsession, huh?”

“Don’t let it go to your head - your ego is big enough as it is.”

“With good reason, it appears.” He gave a happy little grin and then squeezed some lube onto his hands. “I think I need to make the most of this unique opportunity that I’ve been presented with.”

He reached down and spread warm lube between John’s cheeks, but not breeching him at all. Then he nestled his cock into the crack and thrust upwards, sliding along the slippery skin whilst reaching around and grasping John’s cock in his slick hand.

They moved together, John thrusting up into Rodney’s fist and then back against him, with Rodney moving against John’s plump cheeks. Rodney’s free hand reached up and began tweaking a nipple and John moaned, feeling like he was about to fly apart at the seams. He turned his head, tilting his neck back so he could suck Rodney’s ear lobe into his mouth, biting gently and was pleased to hear an answering moan. Rodney wasn’t the only one who could take advantage of knowing the other’s best erogenous zones. 

“John,” Rodney uttered, his voice broken. 

“I’ve got you,” John replied, even though it was really Rodney who had him. He could feel his balls tightening, drawing up against his body even as Rodney thrust harder against him. Then Rodney was crying out and John felt warmth flood over the top of his ass and lower back. It was enough to send him over as well and he spilled over Rodney’s fist. 

John collapsed back against Rodney, ignoring the squawk of protest about the mess and he took hold of Rodney’s arms and pulled them around him into an embrace. “Thank you,” he whispered, meeting Rodney’s eyes in the mirror once more. 

“You’re making me all sticky,” Rodney complained, but he was wearing a goofy smile. “Thank you, too.” He paused. “So, what now?” he asked and it was the most vulnerable John had heard him in a long time.

“Now we shower so you’re no longer sticky,” John said, turning his head to press a kiss to Rodney’s cheek. “Then I think we could get away with an afternoon nap since we’re not on duty or anything.”

“I meant more long term than that,” Rodney admitted.

“I know you did. To be fair though I do see a lot of showers and naps together in our future.”

Relief flooded Rodney’s face. “That’s good, I’m glad.”

“You're stuck with me now, Rodney, best get used to it.”

“Funnily enough, I’m more than okay with that.”

John laughed and pulled Rodney towards the bathroom, happier than he thought possible at the thought of their future together.

oOoOo

The switch back to their own bodies happened in the middle of the following night. John woke, confused as to how he had ended up on the other side of the bed and he rolled over and came face to face with Rodney -  _ Rodney Rodney,  _ not John Rodney. John grinned, gave his slumbering bed partner a soft kiss on the lips and then he settled down against a body that was at once familiar but also new and ready to be explored. 

Their future together couldn't come soon enough.


End file.
